Loki's Newfound Entertainment
by Missy Moi
Summary: Loki is getting bored on Midgard and decides to pay Darcy a visit. However, he gets a little more than he bargained for when she turns out to be more entertaining than he thought. (Post-Avengers) Loki/Darcy Thor/Jane Rated M for language and later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Midgard is Boring

Loki was tired. Things on Midgard had quickly slowed down after his last attempt to rule humanity, and frankly, he was getting bored.

Getting caught by SHIELD was humiliating enough, but now he was being forced to live with his brother and his midgardian mistress. (What was her name again? Ah yes, Jane. He did not care enough to remember it.)

Loki slumped across Jane's couch and sighed. Being on Midgard was becoming absolute torture. How was he supposed to entertain himself?

Suddenly, Loki heard Jane's laughter from the other room.

"Thor! Stop it! Seriously, Thor!" She laughed again. What was it that she found so damn funny?

Curious, Loki got up and walked towards Jane's room. He threw open the door and scoffed when he saw Thor hovering over Jane and tickling her. She let out another burst of laughter.

"I am glad you two are amusing yourselves," Loki sneered.

Thor turned around and smiled widely.

"Brother! I apologize if we woke you, I attempted to warn Jane to remain quiet." Jane sat up and blushed.

"I didn't ask you to-"

In an attempt to interrupt her, Thor leaned towards Jane and kissed her. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck, evidently forgetting Loki was still standing in the doorway.

Loki rolled his eyes and allowed the door to shut behind him.

"Those two fools become more unbearable every day," he muttered to himself. He then promised himself to never become entangled with any woman, Midgardian or otherwise.

But then again... he remembered that intern of Jane Foster's being fairly entertaining. What was her name again?

Darcy? Yes, Darcy was her name. He thought about paying her a visit. Thinking about it for a minute he decided that he had nothing better to do, and the new sounds being emitted from Jane's room were less than pleasant.

Smirking, Loki disappeared. This was going to be fun.


	2. Chapter 2: An Unexpected Visitor

She knew her new position at SHIELD was going to be challenging, but today was especially hard. Everyone was so busy in their own little secret files that she wasn't even able to ask anybody a question.

"I really should be getting payed for this," Darcy thought. "It's basically torture giving the intern all the freaking work."

She opened up the fridge to find (shocker!) there wasn't much of anything.

"Eh, whatever. It's been a rough day, I deserve some damn pizza."

With that, Darcy picked up her phone and ordered a large pepperoni and demanded the cutest delivery boy they could send.

. . .

An hour later, Darcy sat on her couch chowing down on pepperoni pizza while watching some crap tv and painting her nails. The delivery boy had been kind of cute, but he looked about seventeen. What the hell was she supposed to do with that? Who did they think she was, some kind of pedophile? She decided that next time, she needed to specify a little more.

Suddenly, Darcy made out a faint humming noise. The hairs on her arms pricked up as she also could detect a current of electricity accompanying the humming sound. Darcy stood up cautiously, deciding whether or not to make a move towards her tazer.

"Hello?" She called. "Look, I have a freaking taser, and I've used it before! I really don't mind using it on you!"

"I am afraid that will not be necessary, Miss Lewis."

Darcy whipped around to see a handsome, tall man with bright green eyes and dark hair smirking devilishly at her. She shivered as she backed away slowly.

"Loki."


	3. Chapter 3: Loud Enough

Darcy backed away towards the living room table, but she doubted she'd be able to reach the taser in time.

"You know, I do have a pretty shitty memory, but I don't seem to remember inviting you into my house, and if I did, I officially take it back. Maybe try the door next time, you know, it's a Mifgart-or whatever the hell you call my planet-thing we do."

Loki continued smirking as he put his hand up.

"Oh, Miss Lewis, come on now. Doors are far too boring for my liking. I seemed to think you were a woman who prided herself on things far more interesting."

He began walking towards her, backing her into the table.

"I wasn't kidding about the taser!I don't care if you're the god of pranks or whatever! I will freaking electrify you!"

Loki chuckled and suddenly turned away.

"I did not come here to hear your mindless threats, mortal. Jane's apartment has become tiresomely dull, so I found a new one to reside in."

Darcy narrowed her eyes and then laughed. "How loud are they?"

Loki stalkes towards the couch, turning his back towards her.

"Seriously! This could really help me get Jane back for piling that shit load of work on me!" Darcy plopped onto the couch next to him.

"Come on, Loki! How loud is the sex?"

Loki closed his eyes as he rubbed his temples irrirtatedly. "Loud enough," he replied curtly.

"So... how long are you planning on hanging here?"

Loki glanced over at her and smirked.

"Oh, just until you start the be more dull than my faithful brother and his mistress.

Darcy sighed.

"Well, I guess you're going to be here for awhile."


	4. Chapter 4: Mischief and Popcorn

Hello!

I just wanted to put it out there that I (unfortunately) do not own the rights to these lovely characters, and that reviews are gladly welcomed!

Thanks for the support!

-Missymoi

Somehow, Darcy found herself sitting on the couch sharing a bag of popcorn with the God of Michief himself. It was pretty awkward to say the least, but she decided to just go with it and see what happened.

She picked up the TV remote and began idly scrolling through the multitude of channels as Loki watched her curiously. She suddenly stopped on one, letting out a loud, "FRICK YEAH. THIS SHOW IS THE BOMB."

Loki rolled his eyes as he stole another piece of popcorn. The substance was interesting but infuriating at the same time. As he put it into his mouth, he felt it there for a second, but it soon disappeared like a cloud, leaving an unsatisfying kernel behind. He couldn't decide whether he loved or abhorred it. He turned to the screen and wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"What torturous program is this?" He asked curtly.

Darcy's gaze didn't budge from the screen as she answered, "The Bachelor. It's basically a reality show where one douchebag gets a chance to date a million hot girls and they film all of the drama that goes down. Then they're on a few magazine covers before some tragic thing happens to their 'true love' and they get divorced. Then we get another season with a new douchebag!"

"What a terrible waste of time. You Midgardians are so dull when it comes to everything, aren't you? Science, mathematics, love-" Darcy interupted him, holding a finger up to his face.

"Shhh! I can't hear all of Debbie's sob story!"

"How dare you quiet a God! I would never stand for this in Asgard! You should be worshipping me!"

It was Darcy's turn to roll her eyes. She paused the TV and looked Loki sqaure in the eye. "Look Toto, I know you're having a hard time, but you're not in Asgard anymore. You're in my apartment. And bitches in MY apartment play by MY rules."

Loki looked at her incredulously as she took another handful of popcorn and unpaused the TV.

'What a foolish mortal,' he thought. If she wants to play that way...

Loki abruptly stood up spilling some of the popcorn.

"Hey! What the hell, man?" Darcy cried.

"Thank you for the simply 'marvelous' evening, Ms. Lewis, but I really should be going now. I wouldn't want to worry my poor brother."

Grinning, Loki disappeared leaving Darcy to pick up the rest of the popcorn.

"What a freaking buzzkill. And all because I made him watch The Bachelor!"

. . .

Loki reappeared in Jane's apartment, finding that he was no longer bored.

"Get ready, Darcy Lewis. You've awakened the God of Mischief."


	5. Chapter 5: Pretty Girls & Teleportation

Darcy was pretty positive she way going crazy.

It all started out small, but she found that odd things were happening ten times more often than usual. She would remember putting her keys down on the kitchen counter and suddenly find them in the bathroom, or she would replace the shampoo only to find, much to her dismay, she had washed her hair with strawberry-scented body wash.

The most embarrassing incident was the day she walked into work wearing polka dot pajama pants. Unfortunately for her, it also happened to be the same day Tony Stark paid a visit to SHIELD. Darcy shuddered at the thought of Jane's wide-eyed look of horror and Stark's ill-concealed amusement.

Darcy sighed as she gathered up the last of her papers. The week had been unbearably long and she was relieved that it was finally Friday. After she finished packing up, Darcy started heading for the door, looking at her phone.

Suddenly, a message from Jane popped up.

J: Girl's night out?

Darcy smirked as she typed out her reply.

D: What, is Thor too tired to use his hammer tonight? ;)

The next message came quickly. Darcy could almost imagine Jane furiously typing her reply, blushing a bright shade of red.

J: Ha ha, very funny. I know it's been a long week at work, so the first drink is on me. Meet me at Charlie's around 8.

Darcy grinned.

D: How could I refuse a pretty girl and free booze?

. . .

Darcy clutched at her grey jacket as she headed towards Charlie's. The night was colder than she expected, and she could feel the wind tugging at her long, brunette hair. She looked up to admire the October sky, noticing how the thin veil of grey clouds was moving to expose the twinkling stars.

Suddenly, she heard someone calling her name and looked up to see Jane waving at her from outside the restaurant.

Darcy watched as Jane oogled her choice of clothes.

"Wow, Darce, you look great. Green is a beautiful color on you."

Darcy thanked her and smoothed out her dress. She had decided to wear a satin, emerald-green dress that stopped above her mid-thigh and exposed her cleavage with a pretty v-neck. It had always been the dress she wore when she needed a confidence boost.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Darcy noticed Jane was looking a little more sultry herself. She wore a tight crimson dress that stopped above her knees and black heels.

"Damn, Jane! You're looking like a hot little tamale yourself!"

Jane blushed and then turned to the host to request a table.

After they were seated, Darcy looked up from her menu and blurted, "Where's that drink you promised me?"

. . .

A few glasses of wine later, the evening found Darcy and Jane laughing hysterically.

"No but really, he didn't know what Google was! And then after I showed him, I came home to find porn on the browser history! All men are the same."

Jane laughed again as she took another sip of wine. Darcy smiled as she relaxed back into her seat. Jane was a little far gone, but Darcy was happy to see her loosen up for once. It always seemed like she was stessing or panicked about something, so it was nice to see her so at ease.

"I agree. Hell, maybe someday we won't even need men. Maybe we'll all just become lesbians or something."

Jane nodded, her eyes rolling back into her head as she burst out laughing again. Darcy tried hard not to giggle. After paying the bill, Darcy decided she probably needed to return Jane to Thor.

"Okay Blondie, it's probably time to get you back to your God of Thunder and Porn. Come on! Up we go!"

Darcy helped Jane out of the booth and guided her towards the street.

"Aw, but Darcy, we were having a good time! BEST GIRL'S NIGHT EVEEER!" Jane shouted. Darcy struggled to support Jane as she hailed a cab and climbed in. This sure had been a weird week.

. . .

When they arrived at Jane's apartment, a worried Thor opened the door.

"Hello, Lady Darcy! I see that you have brought Jane home safely, thank you! Please come in!" Thor effortlessly picked Jane up and guided Darcy into the apartment.

Everything was relatively tidy, and even Thor's belongings were huddled together neatly in the living room. Darcy wasn't suprised, it was Jane after all.

She watched as Thor headed towards the bedroom. Jane had fallen asleep on the cab ride home, and was limp in Thor's arms.

When he returned, he smiled warmly at Darcy.

"I again give my thanks to you for bringing Jane home. I trust that you had a merry time?"

Darcy chuckled.

"Maybe a little too merry of a time. I'm usually the one that's passed out drunk. Has Jane been okay lately? I mean, I know she's always uptight and bossy, but I other than that. She's not usually the type to drink so much."

Thor sighed. "I am never quite sure what is passing through Jane's mind, sometimes she is very hard to read."

"Or perhaps you cannot read women as well as you think, brother." Darcy whipped around to see Loki smirking, his green eyes blazing.

Thor merely chuckled. "You have always taken to lurking in the shadows, Loki."

Loki shrugged and looked playfully at Darcy.

"I find it much more exciting to have the element of surprise on your side, wouldn't you agree, Miss Lewis?

Darcy gulped. She hadn't seen him since he showed up at her apartment a week ago.

"Hi to you, too," she mumbled. "I mean, I guess. Whatever floats your boat." She glanced at her phone to check the time.

"Oh my god, it's already two! I better get going. I'll let you guys get back to... uh... whatever it is you guys do."

Thor put a hand out to stop her. "Nonsense! You cannot walk back alone."

Darcy shook her head. "No, it's really okay, I have my taser and everything I-"

Thor cut her off. "Loki! Please accompany Lady Darcy home, it is much too late for a maiden to be walking the streets alone."

Loki sulked for a minute and then reluctantly grumbled, "Of course, anything for you _dear _brother."

With that, he offered Darcy his arm and made an expression that looked like an attempted smile, but came out more as a smirk.

"Night, Thor!" Darcy called as Loki ushered her through the door. "Make sure you hold Jane's hair back tomorrow morning, she's really gonna need you, big guy!"

When they were outside, Darcy went to unhook her arm from Loki's grasp, but instead he held tighter and grabbed her hand. She turned around wildy to face him.

"Dude,

what the hell?! You can let go no-"

Her sentence was cut off as she felt the ground disappear and the night sky envelop them.

. . .

Darcy hit the floor of her bedroom gasping for air. When she finally caught her breath, she looked up to see Loki sitting comfortably on her bed.

"What the hell was that for!" She exclaimed.

Loki shrugged and grinned. "I did not feel like walking. "

"Well you could have warned me or something! She cried waving her arms dramatically. "God, the room is still spinning."

Loki stood up and placed his arms on her shoulders, steadying her.

"Calm, mortal. It will fade away if you stop your incessant blabbering. " Darcy began to quip back but stopped herself.

When she felt like she could finally stand on her own, Darcy looked up at Loki.

"Mkay, pretty sure I'm good now. You can let go."

Suddenly, Loki leaned in closer. Darcy stiffened as she heard him inhale.

"Mhmm. Miss Lewis, your hair smells of strawberries. What a delightful scent."

Everything clicked as Loki released her and took a step back.

"You bastard! I thought I was going crazy this whole freaking week! I should have known it was just you playing stupid pranks." She mentally scolded herself for not realizing sooner.

Loki raised his eyebrows, feigning innocence. "Why, Miss Lewis, I haven'tany idea of what you're referring to."

And with that, he vanished.

Author's note:

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my fic! I am hoping to update every week, but I just found out today that I will be needing an emergency surgery next week, so the next chapter may take awhile. Also, please let me know if there are any scenarios or characters you would like to see in this fic.

Lots of love,

Missy Moi


	6. Chapter 6: Pizza and Friendship

Loki knew the minute he mentioned Darcy's strawberry-scented hair she would find him out. Not that he cared much, that was the whole point of the game. What he couldn't believe was how long she took to piece everything together. Her work must have been getting busy because she seemed to drag around her quarters more so than usual. Of course, whenever he popped in she never noticed, (he made sure of it) but he found that after a week of playing small tricks on her he felt the smallest tinge of sympathy.

As much as he hated to admit it, he sensed that she was as lonely as he was. After all, she spent most of her time alone, whether it was spent eating, watching television, sleeping... And even though she never exhibited any distress regarding her situation, Loki could see a clouded distance reflected in her eyes.

For this very reason, Loki decided he would pay Ms. Lewis a visit, whether she wanted one or not.

. . .

Darcy could not stop thinking about the stupid God of Mischief. Who the hell did he think he was barging into her apartment and screwing with her?! This is NOT what she needed; not last week, not this week, not EVER. She decided that the next time she saw him she would lay down the law. Darcy strutted into the kitchen, mumbling to herself while making a cup of coffee.

"Now listen up, shitbag. Next time you decide to magic yourself in here, I'm not going to be so nice. I have had the longest week at work, and I don't need your stupid pranks. I will taser your ass as many times as I need to get it into your head tha-" she stopped and absentmindedly stirred the cream in her coffee.

"Shitbag? Hmm, will he even know what that is? Probably not. Oh wait! I totally found that Shakespearean insult generator on tumblr the other day, I could use that!"

Smiling to herself, she started again, taking the spoon out and threateningly pointing it towards an imaginary Loki.

"Now listen up you bootless, elf-skinned, foot-licker! Next time you decide to magic yourself in here, I'm -" but Darcy was cut off by a loud laugh behind her.

She whirled around to face the God of Mischief, in the flesh.

"That's quite a creative title, although I've never been referred to as 'elf-skinned' or a 'foot-licker,'" he grinned again. "But the fact that you were practicing for my arrival is quite endearing really, I hope I'm not too late." His eyes gleamed.

Darcy was fuming as she stepped forward.

"You think you're so hilarious, don't you? Well you know what's not hilarious? Screwing with me all week, that's not hilarious!"

"Really?" Loki quipped back. "I thought it was highly entertaining. Oh, but do continue with your little diatribe, I did not mean to interrupt."

Darcy stepped forward so that she was eye to eye with the green-eyed god, and jabbed a finger into his chest.

"Now that you've made fun of me, you can leave. Go on. Magic your prankster-ass out of here. No more visits to Darcy's place."

Loki momentarily held her arm and placed it at her side. "Calm, Ms. Lewis. Contrary to your belief, I am not here to hinder your day. I simply thought you were in need of a... friend."

Darcy snorted. "You? My friend? Yeah right! Since when?"

Loki frowned and folded his arms. "I did visit once before, does that not make us acquaintances?"

Darcy chuckled. "Acquaintances? Maybe. Friends? Hell no." Darcy turned her back to Loki and sauntered towards the kitchen.

"I guess if I've cleared everything up you can leave now." She waited for his witty reply, but when she peeked over her shoulder, he was already gone.

. . .

A few hours later, Darcy was sitting alone watching The Bachelor when she heard a crash coming from the kitchen. Freezing where she sat, she cautiously looked up to see Loki standing in her kitchen with two boxes of pizza and his trademark smirk.

"Hello again, Ms. Lewis. I seem to recall that you rather enjoyed this food last time. Is that not true?"

Damn, Darcy thought. How did he know that food is my weakness? She slumped in her seat and finally replied, "You got me, bring it here."

Loki triumphantly set the box down onto the coffee table, and reluctantly sat on the couch across from Darcy.

"I believe you were right about one thing, Ms. Lewis."

"What's that?" Darcy replied between a mouthful of pepperoni pizza.

"We are not friends, but we will be."

TO BE CONTINUED...

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you all for taking the time to read my story, and I hope you have enjoyed this chapter so far. Please let me know of any glaringly obvious errors if you see any, and please excuse anything else.

LunatrixLupin Thank you so much for your kind note, my surgery went very well and I am doing better. I am glad you are enjoying this story, and I hope you like where it is going.

procon Thank you for your review, and I am very pleased to see that you are liking my work. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Until next chapter and lots of love,

Missy Moi


	7. Chapter 7: Suprise Visits and Merlot

Darcy smirked as she watched a hesitant Loki inspect a piece of pepperoni pizza.

"Midgardians do possess a strange idea of cuisine. How do you manage to enjoy such an alien food?"

Darcy rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on, Alien? You're the alien here. All of my friends like pizza. Hell, everyone likes pizza. If you really wanted to be my friend you would just eat it."

Loki begrudgingly looked up at her and proceeded to take a small bite of the pizza. Darcy waited impatiently for his reaction. God, she knew he was an evil genius and all that, but sometimes he just seemed like a three year-old. She looked back at Loki. "Well? What do you think?"

"It's not too unpleasant."

Darcy let out a loud laugh. "I guess that's the closest thing I'm going to get to 'it's the bomb , Darcy! Actally, I've been thinking about it... and so are you!'"

Loki smirked. "I am quite sure I would never utter those words."

Darcy shrugged. "You'd be surprised." She got up and headed towards the kitchen. "But if I'm spending the night with you, I'm going to need some alcohol." She reached into the cupboard for a bottle of Merlot, and then blushed.

"You know that I didn't mean spending the night like... you know..."

Loki sat back and playfully put his feet up on the coffee table.

"I am afraid I haven't any idea of what you're referring to, Miss Lewis."

His eyes gleamed brightly. Darcy swore that she had never seen such a deep shade of

green. His eyes reminded her of the forest after a long rain... or a tropical sea under the full moon, just waiting to envelop her in its cool, calm waters...

WHAT. What was she thinking! God, she was starting to sound like Fifty Shades of Shit. (No offense to Jane, Darcy knew she was secretly a big fan.) Wait... Darcy thought. Did he just say something?

Loki glanced over at her.

"Miss Lewis, are you alright? You look a bit..." he strode over to her and put a hand to her forehead.

"Pale."

Darcy felt herself blushing, but managed to remove his hand from her skin.

"I'm fine! Oversensitive much? Damn, I need a drink."

Loki chuckled. "Mortals and their alcohol."

Darcy ignored him and took a shaky sip of her wine.

"Come on, bitch! Friends watch The Bachelor together!" She tugged Loki's sleeve towards the couch.

. . .

Darcy woke up to the biggest headache of her life and a green-eyed man staring down at her.

"What... what the hell happened?" She stuttered as she sat up.

Loki donned the biggest shit-eating grin Darcy had ever seen in her life. Great, this was going to be a blast. She internally rolled her eyes.

"Well, little mortal," Darcy wanted to throw up already. "You do not seem capable of holding your alcohol, so I brought you here."

Before he could continue, Darcy pushed Loki down onto the bed and craned her head towards her alarm clock. Fortunately for her, it was 1 o'clock p.m. on a Sunday. Unfortunately for her, she had made plans to meet Jane for lunch at exactly 12:30 p.m.

"Fuck! Why didn't you wake me up? Shit, shit, SHIT!"

Loki looked confused and then slightly pissed. Actually, more than slightly. He was fuming.

"I don't seem to recall 'friends' pushing friends. Do you not understand that I am a God and trying to be your acquaintance is very taxing and often quite intolerable, and more so-"

Darcy shoved a pillow in his face.

"Not today, Mischief Man! I gotz places to be!"

And with that Darcy jumped out of bed leaving a very confused Loki in her wake.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE(S):

Like always, thank you all for taking the time to read/follow/favorite my story, and I am always very honoured to see new reviews and whatnot. I am honestly having a blast writing this fic because I love how much Darcy and Loki clash, but also make up for each other's faults. I definitely see Loki as more formal and guarded, and I love that Darcy seems to really tap into his playful side and help him let loose a little. Hopefully you've enjoyed this chapter, and I will definitely be updating soon.

As far as where I see this story going I'm not quite sure, but in the next chapter I plan on revealing what went down while Darcy was hammered and how Loki is beginning to feel about his "little mortal."

On a personal note, I GRADUATED FRIDAY! WOOHOO! Congratulations to anyone else who may have graduated, or have just finished another school year.

LunatrixLupin: I was very excited to see your review, and I am very glad you liked my last chapter. Hopefully you will enjoy the chapters to come, and if you have any notes, I am always open to suggestions.

Mushybooma: Thank you! Sometimes I try to be funny and it works, so I'm sincerely glad. ;) I love writing Darcy's little quips because she's always so off-the-wall and unpredictable. Damn... I just love Darcy. I am really happy that you have liked my work so far, and I hope you like this chapter.

Much love to all,

Missy Moi


	8. Chapter 8: Mystery Man & Drunken Memory

Darcy shook her head as she shrugged on a pair of jeans and a striped t-shirt. How could she have let this happen? Moreover, what exactly happened?

"Just fabulous," Darcy muttered to herself. "Now this gives Loki an excuse to hold this over my head and bug me. Great. Wonderful. FLIPPING FANTASTIC."

She grabbed her phone and frantically called Jane.

"Come on, pick up!" Darcy whispered. Suddenly, she heard Jane's voice echo through the line.

"Darcy? Where are you? We were supposed to meet at 12:30!"

"I know, I'm so sorry, I just got caught up in something and-"

It was at that moment that Loki decided to make his appearance.

"Ms. Lewis, I'm afraid you-"

Panicking, Darcy waved him away mouthing, "GO!" However, Loki continued to stand there.

"Darcy, are you with someone? Oh wow. Is he British?"

Darcy could practically feel Jane's smugness through the phone. She turned her back to Loki.

"N-no! It's just little ol' me. You probably just heard the tv, I fell asleep with it on," she gave a nervous laugh.

"If you say so. Just get over here soon, okay? Sitting here by myself makes me look like I'm getting stood up or something." She laughed.

"I'll be right there!" Darcy smiled as she hung up, but it was short lived after she turned around and realized that the God of Mischief was still standing behind her, smirking with his arms crossed.

"I did not realize that you were ashamed of me enough to lie to your little friend," Loki sneered. "I thought we were just beginning to become friends after your charade last night."

"What was I supposed to do?" Darcy exclaimed throwing her hands up incredulously. "What, you want me to tell her, 'oh yeah, that was just Loki. He stayed over at my place for drinks.I think it went well, but I'm not really sure since I passed out drunk.'"

Loki glared at her as he inched forward. She could feel his cool breath on her neck as he whispered, "You really do not remember what occurred last night?"

Darcy winced as she tried to will herself to step away.

"No, I don't remember what happened at all, okay? Although I have my clothes on, which is a good sign."

Loki backed away from her and smirked. "Mortals and their alcohol," he chided for the second time.

"Look, as much as I love our little arguments, I need to meet Jane so you should probably get going."

Loki remained where he was and simply asked, "You do not wish for me to tell you what happened?"

Darcy shook her head as she grabbed her purse. "I don't want to know. I'm sure it was nothing important if I don't remember" She lowered her voice as she added, "But thanks for getting me to my bed and all."

She didn't look back as she closed the door behind her.

. . .

Darcy slid into the booth across from Jane and smiled apologetically.

"Dude, I am really sorry I'm late."

It looked like Jane had already ordered a drink and some appetizers, so Dary didn't feel too bad.

Jane shrugged as she took a sip of what looked like a piña colada. "You're here now, so let's call it even. And just for the record, I know it wasn't your TV," she smiled as she took another sip.

Darcy stiffened. "Jane, I already told you tha-"

Jane laughed. "It's okay, I'm not judging you or anything. I actually don't know why you're suddenly so ashamed, usually you love bragging about your 'exotic encounters.' What, was he not up to your usual standards?"

Darcy shivered. You have no idea, she thought.

"Anyways, all I'm saying is that while I don't want to hear about all of the details, you shouldn't feel like you have to lie. I'm here for you, Darcy."

Darcy feigned a smile. "Thanks, Jane, that really means a lot to me."

Attempting to change the topic, Darcy looked around for the waiter.

"So, does this mean you're buying drinks again? Because after the morning I had, I really need one."

. . .

Loki sat alone in Jane's apartment thinking about Darcy. Did she really not recall what transpired? Did she really want to forget? Did she always feel the need to be so cryptic? Meanwhile, he could picture the evening perfectly...

Loki relaxed back into Darcy's couch as they watched The Bachelor. The show itself was vaguely sickening and infuriating, but Darcy seemed to enjoy it, so he tried to keep his snarky commentary to a minimum. Darcy appeared to be fully relaxed after downing a couple glasses of wine; once in a while she would sigh and say uncomfortable things, but nothing too severe that Loki couldn't laugh at.

As the episode came to an end, he looked over and noticed tears in Darcy's eyes.

"Miss Lewis?" Loki asked cautiously.

Darcy looked up and scooted closer to him. Loki stiffened as she rested her head in his lap.

"I'm sorry," she hiccuped. "I just feel… I guess this show just makes me…"

Loki rolled his eyes as he waited for her to finish her sentence. (Which didn't seem like it was going to end anytime soon.)

"I feel… lonely." Suddenly, Darcy sat up and placed her head on Loki's shoulder and wrapped her arms around his torso.

"B-but, don't bullshit me because I know you feel the same way," she slurred. "Everyone thinks you're all evil and fucked up, but I know you're just a little kid waiting to be noticed and hugged."

The situation was becoming more awkward by the minute, but Darcy didn't seem to mind. She looked up at him and stroked his cheek.

Suddenly, she let out a giggle.

"DUUUUDE. Your skin is so freaking soft. And your eyes are so… they're so... "

Loki looked down at her.

"They're so GREEN!" She exclaimed happily.

This time, Loki laughed and looked down at her. "Foolish little mortal. You really are poor at holding your liquor, you would not last a second drinking Asgardian beverages."

Darcy frowned and jumped up to straddle him.

"Oh reallllly? Well, don't act like you're the life of the party, because you didn't even drink anything! Boooooring!"

Loki attempted to shift her off of him, but she simply held him tighter and stared into his eyes.

She was quiet as she leaned forward and gingerly pressed her soft lips against his own. He froze under her, unsure of what to do.

Suddenly, Darcy retreated and looked at him one last time before she passed out in his lap.

Loki shook his head trying to clear the memory, but for some reason he could not stop thinking about it. Did this mean something? Everything was twice as confusing with Midgardians. Why they felt the need to be so very esoteric he did not know.

He gritted his teeth in frustration. He was a GOD. Why was he even worrying about an insignificant mortal?

This is spiralling out of control. I will no longer pay any visits to Darcy Lewis, she is too distracting and foolish.

Suddenly, Loki felt strong hands grip his shoulders.

"Brother!" Thor boomed. "You seem deep in your thoughts. I hope you are not plotting again!"

Thor chuckled as Loki removed his hands.

"Currently I am not, but if you lay your hands on me again I may begin," Loki sneered.

Thor held up his hands in defeat.

"I meant no offense, brother. You do seem exceptionally angered today. What troubles are you facing? Perhaps... troubles with women?"

Loki turned his head away.

"There are no women worth my time, brother."

Thor shook his head and turned towards the kitchen.

"You are a strange being indeed."

Loki chuckled.

If only you knew Darcy Lewis.


	9. Chapter 9: Irises and Realizations

Loki was facing pure madness. No matter how hard he tried, he could not keep his thoughts from reverting back to Darcy. He kept telling himself she meant nothing to him; they were only friends after all, and barely even that. How could she possibly be interested in him? The girl's mental state was obviously far from normal that faithful night.

But no matter how much he tried to tell himself she was an insignificant mortal, he kept picturing her flowing brunette hair and her blue eyes staring up at him as she pressed her pillowy red lips against his, pushing her perfect round breasts up against his chest…

NO. This needed to stop immediately, or he would go insane from anger or sexual frustration. (Whichever came first.) Either way, he decided he needed to pay Darcy Lewis a visit.

. . .

"I told you that I don't need any damn solar panels! I live in an apartment, asshole!" Darcy yelled as she threw open the door.

To her astonishment, it wasn't the solar panel salesman she was confronting, but a familiar Asgardian. She looked up and down as she noticed that Loki was donned in a black suit and green tie, holding a bouquet of Irises.

"Oh. Sorry, I thought you were that stupid solar panel guy. He doesn't usually have a full day unless he's bothered me at least twice," she gave a nervous laugh. It was hard for her to make a good joke when Loki was staring straight at her with that stupid smirk of his. Her heart was racing as he chuckled and shifted.

"You complained about my sudden appearances in your apartment, so I decided to try the Midgardian tradition of 'knocking.' Of course, currently you do not seem to favor this method anymore than you do the other. Have I startled you?"

Darcy shook her head with wide eyes. "No, you just surprised me. So… why are you here?"

Loki smirked and handed her the flowers. "I presume I angered you the last time I payed a visit since you have been avoiding me the entirety of the week. Have you eaten?"

Darcy blushed and awkwardly took the flowers, accidentally brushing Loki's hand. "I wasn't avoiding you…" she mumbled under her breath.

"Ms. Lewis, I know when someone is avoiding me. But to remedy it, I have decided to take you to dinner. Is that not how Midgardians remedy friendships?"

Darcy stiffened and her grip on the door tightened as she looked down to survey her pajama shorts and ratty t-shirt.

"Look Loki, that's really nice of you, but I'm not really feeling like going out and-" Loki cut her off completely.

"Very well. I will simply wait here while you dress appropriately," he pushed the door open and walked right past her towards the living room.

"Hey, I already said I didn't want to!" Darcy growled in frustration. Finally, she rolled her eyes and stomped off towards the bedroom, setting the flowers on the counter. "Whatever. Give me fifteen minutes."

Loki grinned knowing he had won this round.

. . .

An hour later, Darcy walked out of the bedroom in a long, green dress that flowed when she walked. Loki held his breath as he looked at her up and down. He had never seen a more gorgeous mortal. Well, generally speaking of course. When they were outside, Loki hailed a taxi and decided he would take Darcy to a popular little Italian restaurant that he had heard Jane raving about. Darcy tried to act as nonchalant as possible, but inside her thoughts were bouncing a million miles per hour. Why the hell was Loki taking her out to dinner? Did he really think she was mad at him?

He's probably just toying with me, Darcy thought.

Suddenly, Loki held open the cab door and escorted her inside the restaurant where they were greeted by an over-enthusiastic hostess.

"Hi! Welcome to Antonio's! Is it just two of you tonight?" Loki smirked at Darcy as he gave a quick "obviously."

Darcy rolled her eyes as she guided them to a small table near the middle of the restaurant. There were about ten other tables that were predominantly occupied by couples with the exception of a few families.

As they sat down, the hostess beamed at them and blurted, "I'm sorry, it's just that you guys make an adorable couple."

Darcy was about to protest and explain that they were just friends when Loki interrupted her. "I suppose we do, don't we darling?" His eyes were blazing as he casually smiled at Darcy. She glared at him as the hostess sauntered off.

"What the hell was that?" Darcy demanded. "Why are you acting like such a weirdo?"

She could almost hear him smirking as he buried his head in the menu. "Oh come on, Ms. Lewis, I am just having a little fun. I am the God of Mischief after all. Besides, did you really feel like explaining our friendship to some strange Midgardian?" Darcy blushed as she realized he was right and she was probably overreacting.

Great, she thought. Now he's going to think I want to be a couple or something. Which is totally not the case at all.

"You can call me Darcy, you know."

"I am well-aware of that fact, Ms. Lewis." Loki smirked at her from across the table. She was especially fiery tonight and he was enjoying every little moment he could provoke and frustrate her. He found himself wanting to make her face red; he loved the way it spread from her ears to her cheeks.

"On a more serious topic, I am truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable the other night. It was not my intention in any way."

Darcy laughed and shook her head. "It's fine, it's my fault for drinking too much. I guess I was just too exhausted from the week. I'm sorry if I did anything that was… out of line," she said cautiously glancing up at him.

Loki examined her face as she looked back down at her menu. Her eyes looked tired from many sleepless nights and stressful hours at work. He felt himself begin to grow angry at S.H.I.E.L.D for overworking her. They were friends, didn't that mean he should defend her? He was just trying to do the right thing, nothing else. He shook his head as he convinced himself that she was nothing more than a good friend.

Darcy suddenly looked up and smirked. "Do you even know anything about Italian food?"

. . .

After they had eaten, (Darcy had to explain the menu to Loki since there was no Italian food back on Asgard) Loki did his "teleporty-thing" (as Darcy dubbed it) and Darcy felt herself fall onto the couch in her apartment.

"I will never get used to that," she laughed as she looked around for Loki. Suddenly, she realized Loki was nowhere to be found. She began to panic and wildy called out his name.

All of a sudden, Darcy heard a thud behind her. She whipped around and saw that Loki had crashed into the sofa behind her.

"Are you okay?! " Darcy asked as she helped him up.

"I can assure you I am quite alright, Ms. Lewis. I am used to this kind of travel."

Darcy looked up into his green eyes as she whispered, "Darcy. But anyways, thank you for dinner, it was really nice."

Loki rolled his eyes. "I suppose for Midgardian food it was quite alright." Darcy smacked him playfully and he began to make his way towards the door. Darcy followed him and opened the door.

"Well, I guess this is goodnight then," she mumbled as she waited for him to say something. Suddenly, Loki was inches away from her face.

"Are you sure you do not remember the last night I was here?" His eyes looked weary as they bore into hers.

"No," she said meekly. Loki turned to move away from her and she started to panic. Why did she want him to stay?

Darcy grabbed Loki's arm from behind and pressed her lips against his.


	10. Chapter 10: Sleepovers and Complications

Darcy couldn't believe what she had just done. She knew she was bold and all, but jumping Loki? This was absolutely crazy. She let go of his arm and looked into his emerald eyes.

"I uh... I've wanted to do that for awhile, I guess." She whispered feeling embarrassed.

Loki smirked and pulled her face into his hands.

"All you had to do was ask, Darcy darling."

Suddenly, Loki's hands were everywhere and they were both breathing heavily. Her body pleaded for more as his fingertips traced over her breasts and created intricate patterns on her thighs.

"Loki," Darcy breathed as his mouth attacked hers again. "Is there anyway you can- FUCK." His mouth was beginning to make it's way down her body and she was quickly losing any sensible train of thought.

"Loki, stop." He looked up at her with a mixture of confusion and satisfaction. "I'm thinking this is a good time for you to zap us to the bedroom?"

Loki's grin turned into his famous smirk as he snapped his fingers and Darcy felt herself fall back onto the bed. Out of nowhere, Loki began to crawl up Darcy's body until he violently kissed her lips and growled, "Perhaps I have been wanting this as well." He began to take off her dress and Darcy shivered as she felt the cool satin slide off her skin.

Loki didn't hesitate and he dragged his lips down to Darcy's black, lacy bra and removed it. She moaned as he sucked on her left breast, his hands quickly traveling downward towards her thong.

In between the bouts of pleasure, Darcy realized that she couldn't let Loki take total control. What would he think of her? That he could do whatever he wanted and she would be screaming for more? _Fuck that. _

Darcy hooked her leg around Loki's chest and flipped him over so that she was resting on his groin. "Didn't see that coming did ya, Mr. Mischief?" She said playfully as she began to grind herself on his obvious erection.

"Oh my pet," he was practically purring. "Are you enjoying reenacting your little fantasies? What a naughty girl you are." His eyes were gleaming as he began to moan.

Darcy laughed. "Maybe you're the one with the fantasies. Little Loki sure seems to be enjoying himself..." She stroked his erection as she bounced forward.

Suddenly, Loki flipped them over again so that he was pressing himself right where Darcy needed him to. "Enough teasing, Ms. Lewis. It's my turn now."

. . .

Darcy woke up naked, alone, and with nothing but blurred memories that seemed too surreal to be real. Grittingher teeth, Darcy got out of bed and realized that mind-blowing sex meant mind-blowing soreness in the morning. _Great, _she thought. _Not only am I going to be unable to face Loki ever again, but I can't even fucking walk! _

Somehow, she made her way to the couch only to find a fully-clothed Loki sitting in the living room.

"What the hell?" Darcy asked half laughing. "Is my bed not big enough for your godliness? Never mind that, why are you dressed? Hot date to catch?"

Loki looked over at her with cold eyes and replied, "I do not think last night's encounter was a wise idea."

Darcy's heart stopped as she froze and stared at the green-eyed god. "_Encounter_? You mean _sex_?"

Loki rolled his eyes and stood. "Yes, Ms. Lewis. If it was not obvious enough, I meant intercourse. It was enjoyable in the moment, however, that is all it was, a _moment _of desire and lust; nothing more. I am sure you were never dull enough to believe a god would be interested in continuing affairs with a silly mortal."

Darcy felt angry tears well up in her eyes, but she refused to let them slide down her cheeks. _That's just what the asshole wants, right? A show? Fuck that. I'm not going to cry over a psychotic weirdo like Loki. It was good sex and nothing else._

Darcy straightened and turned towards the kitchen. "Of course it would never mean anything more. Actually, I expected you to be gone this morning. Why would someone be interested in continuing affairs with a psychopathic super-villain from space with daddy issues? Nobody wants that in their life." She forced a condescending laugh and stopped before it could turn into a sob.

"I am very glad we are both in agreement then," Loki's voice was a startling combination of detached and calm and as Darcy turned around to look at him one last time, she found that he was already gone.


	11. Chapter 11: Tinder and Pricks

**A/N: **Hello! First and foremost, I apologize about the length of the last chapter. I know that it was a lot shorter (and crueler) than some of my other chapters. (I also kind of had a Steve Moffat moment and decided to break some hearts.) To make up for that, I will be attempting to post at least two chapters very soon.

On a more personal note, I just started college! It's currently my second week and I'm loving it here so far. I am at a four-year university about two hours away from my home so it's a pretty massive transition, but my roommate and the girls on my floor are all extremely nice so that's definitely helping. I hope you are all doing well and happy September!

This was the most monotonous week by far. Jane usually kept Darcy fairly busy, but this week was moving slower than most due to Jane being occupied by various meetings.

Darcy sighed as she shuffled the papers on her desk. As much as she wanted to be angry with Loki, she only felt a chilling numbness at the entirety of the incident.

_He used____you. You were just a game to him. All he wanted was to get it in and then get out. Only an idiot would expect romance from a crazy alien. You should have stayed away from him. __**You should have known better.**_

The little voices in her head had become a deafening roar the minute Loki had left. As much as she scolded herself for believing that Loki was some kind of warped prince charming, there was still a part of her that rejoiced over her victory.

_Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. Maybe this was just a sign that I need to start getting serious about the dating game instead of hooking up with random losers. _

Suddenly, Darcy felt herself grin for the first time in a week. She knew what she needed to do next.

. . .

The God of Mischief and Lies did not _sulk._ Sulking was for petty humans and weak, soft-hearted souls like Thor. Sulking was for small children who didn't get what they wanted. Loki did _sulk_. Loki got _angry_.

_How dare that insignificant little mortal say such putrid things to me! I AM A GOD. She has no right to say anything of the sort! Who does that Darcy Lewis think she is?!_

"Brother! You have been seated on this couch for quite awhile now! Is there a serious matter troubling you? You practically have steam rising from your head! I should hope that you are not plotting again!" Thor gave a hearty laugh as he opened a box of frosted cheerios and poured them down his godly throat.

Loki was fuming by this point. "Yes, _brother," _Loki hissed. "Perhaps I am plotting. I haven't caused much misery or mischief in quite a long time. Shall I see if I can successfully enslave Midgard again?" _Or just Darcy Lewis. _

Thor's expression darkened for a second, but quickly changed as he gave another throaty laugh. "I have become quite fond of your jests, brother! It reminds me of when we were children." He sighed contently. "What bright days those were."

Jane waltzed into he kitchen and threw her arms around Thor's neck, placing a chaste kiss near his ears. Thor winked at Loki.

"Then again, these days are bright as well." And with that Thor disappeared with Jane into the bedroom.

Loki huffed. Thor didn't understand anything. In fact, he _never_ understood anything. While Thor might have always been the brawns in the family, Loki knew that he was the brains. Of course, that didn't seem to be helping him much in the current situation.

Out of sheer boredom, Loki decided to turn on the television only to find that, "The Bachelor" was on. He threw the remote onto the floor and slumped against the couch. What an insufferably long week.

. . .

Darcy checked her lip-gloss in mirror one last time before she headed out of her apartment for the night. She smiled to herself as she locked the door. Earlier that day she had scoured all of Tinder without luck until she stumbled upon a cute, blonde named James. After swiping right, she quickly received a notification that he had also found her attractive.

After talking for a little while, James had asked her to dinner at a local restaurant about ten minutes from her apartment and Darcy had excitedly agreed.

_Who knew that I could find a genuinely cute and mature guy on Tinder? I'll never sleep with a loser ever again! _She hummed happily as she hailed a cab.

. . .

"So… what's your major again?" Jason asked condescendingly.

Darcy rolled her eyes as she repeated, "Political Science." _It's not like it's the fifth time I've told you, dumbass. _

"Oh. Right. That's… interesting. When I started college I was into all kinds of wacky majors- "

Darcy drifted off into her thoughts. _Why did I ever think it was a good idea to search for dates on Tinder? Might as well have started an eHarmony account with a bio that says, "calling all pretentious, egotistical assholes!" This guy is seriously hot though… I mean, he's almost hot enough to compete with my hotness. Almost. Should I even bother listening to what this prick has to say? Maybe I should just take him home so he'll shut up. Decisions decisions… _

"-And he gave me the best advice I ever got in my entire life."

Darcy tried her best to give an understanding nod. "Wow, what a story you have there, Jason. I hate to diverge from your lovely little tale, but I think it's probably a good time to get the check."

"Good idea, you're paying right? I mean, since you're a political science major you're probably into feminism and all that kind of stuff."

Darcy could not believe her ears. Was this guy serious? Did he really just say that?

Out of nowhere, Loki popped next to the table and yanked Darcy's arm.

"You're coming with me, Darcy Lewis."


End file.
